Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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