if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
