how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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