That's intense
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
