It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
