shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
