Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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