Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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