soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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