nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
