sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
