Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i out mim tonsoeep
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