no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
