weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He kissed a someone with a penis
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
