you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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