I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
