Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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