im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
