...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
it was like eating out sand paper
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
