I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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