I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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