And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
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