I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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