Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
