If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
