Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
