i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize