at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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