I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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