Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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