i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
