Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize