it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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