i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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