Having a random hookup so left but love u
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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