I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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