She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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