there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
