He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
