she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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