Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
