I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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