I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
third nipple confirmed
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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