writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
