i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
