i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize