Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
