I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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