So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
