Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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