This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
