So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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