im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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