is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
