Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
