allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
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