so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
