she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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