we have officially lost it.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize