At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
