our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Dear god my vagina.
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