why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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