I accidentally had phone sex last night
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize