If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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