based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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