Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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